Classical Jokes8- Page

I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes; Free Bar!

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm proud of my contradictory skills.

As I'm 7ft tall, I regularly get the "Hey man, you're tall, do you play basketball?" And to be quite frank I'm getting sick of it. I dont go up to midgets and say; "Hey, you're short do you play mini golf?

Time flies. Babies don't.

Getting on the bus I realised that there were no seats left for me to sit on, so reluctantly I had to hold tightly onto one of those poles for the entire journey. I wasn't happy about it. Then again, I doubt he was thrilled about it.

For men, putting make-up on is a drag.

My girlfriend said due to my immaturity, and lack of sensitivity, she can't see there being a future in our relationship. It was funny cause she's blind.

Two was pointing a loaded gun at Zero. Just before Two fired the fatal shot, One threw himself in front of the bullet, taking the full force of the blow. Poor number One, he died for nothing.

I tried raping a Jamaican man yesterday, but I had to run off because he pulled my balaclava off and saw my face. I don't know why he thought my name was Norman, though.

I went to see a fortune teller today. She looked in her crystal ball and said, "Oooooooooooooooooooh!" "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I said, "Is Cantona making a comeback?"