Classical Jokes6- Page

I went to buy a masonry drill earlier. I was stood there, with one trouser leg rolled up but none of the staff in B&Q knew the secret handshake.

I was throwing a piece of cake out for the birds earlier and it came back and smacked me in the face! It must have been a boomeringue!

I said, "How long left ref?" He said, "It's injury time" So I broke his nose.

My psychiatrist said I have commitment issues so I've started seeing a different one.

I spoke to my sons teacher today. He said, 'I commend your child' I said, 'I'm sure you can.. but I'm not sure he's even broken''

My wife asked me to take down the blinds while I was up at the window. So I shot them both in the head, sending the guide dogs fleeing the scene.

I remember when I used to take my wife on holiday and get her stoned... Oh how I love to visit Qatar.

I've just ordered some Testosterone online... It's in the male.

I'm writing a short script about the history of the dictionary, its alright, just a little word play.

One time when I was re-enacting the birth of Christ, I swear I saw the manger move by itself... Paranormal Nativity.