Classical Jokes4- Page

I've just sold 30 dummies to a baby for fifty quid, Sucker.

Obesity is huge at the moment.

I love my foot. What a legend.

It was just over a fortnight ago, since my wife left me, because of my obsession with Sinead O'Connor. In fact, its been seven hours and fifteen days.

My wife has attempted suicide three times this year. She's just not getting the hang of it.

I'd love a delicious German sausage, but I don't have any money, just this dead seagull. Think they'll take a tern for the wurst?

I had always wondered why they called it 'injury time' at the end of a football match. That is until we lost to a goal in the 93rd minute and my wife helped me to understand it a bit better.

I said to my mate, "Ooh have you tried that new lemon flavoured lager?" He said, "No, is it bitter?" I said, "No, I just said, it's lager."

The other day, my girlfriend said to me "I've never heard anyone call me fat." I replied "You mastodon."

I don't know why the chef keeps fire blankets in the kitchen, fires are hot enough as they are.