Classical Jokes5- Page

My mate challenged me to get him something affordable for his rabbit to play in, I gave him a right good run for his money.

My missus stubbed her toe so I carried her into the hospital. I asked, "How bad is it doc?" He said, "Your going to have to put her down." I said, "Oh dear, did you hear that Sheila? We're going to have to put you down."

I was drilling this girl the other night, Unfortunately, the hole in her head killed her.

My girlfriend just phoned to ask me what I thought of her mum's new grave. I told her I was diggin' it.

My mother-in-law is coming to dinner this evening... My wifes making a curry and i'm getting the ricin.

I went shopping the other day to get away from the wife. When I got back she asked me what I bought. I said "I bought a sausage dog" She said "Awwww u bought me a pet" I said "No, I went to the butchers"

Some people call me Mayfield Avenue. That's my street name.

I went down the pub this afternoon after a game of golf. They said I'd be more likely to get one at the golf course.

I am a pessimistic man much like a german vegetarian... I fear the Wurst.

I just gave my missus a right hook. I've always wanted to do pirate role play.