Classical Jokes3060- Page

Never have a motto. That's my motto.

Half a coconut hung from a tree makes a nutritious food for your garden birds. It also helps to keep other coconuts away from your house.

Just a little bit of advice for any parents that are reading this. If your baby is having trouble sleeping, don't put a drop of whisky in their milk bottle. It's far more effective if you put a drop of milk in a whisky bottle. It works wonders, my son has been asleep for eight days straight now.

Christmas Party Tip: Asking for a kiss under the cameltoe is NEVER acceptable.

Saw an advert for this new show called "Bulging Brides" in which soon to be brides had 2 months to fit in their dress. 2 Months! Just to fit into a dress? I could tell them where to get ripped in just 4 weeks.

Top Tip: If a police officer pulls you over, do not tell him/her, "I find you very attractive...and that's not just the booze talking!"

I've got a huge tip for people with lots of rubbish.

The best place to hide a body is on Page 2 of Google's search results.

Goths. Save money on black nail varnish by hitting your fingernails with a claw hammer.

Leprechauns hide their gold in electrical sockets... You can check at home. Just use forks to get it out.