Classical Jokes3062- Page

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

Be the life of the party by murdering all the other guests.

Dont do anything you are not prepared to explain to a paramedic.

Tip for the day: 'Harder' is not a good choice of safe word.

My mum told me I should never talk to strangers. I said, "It's alright mum, I don't know any."

A contact lens, painted black, makes an ideal skullcap for a Jewish hamster.

There are two rules for success: 1. Don't tell all you know

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN... show up naked, bring beer.

Scientists have proven that cigarettes are harmful to the health of children. Fair enough, use an ashtray.

On a serious note, I am concerned with global warming and the effect it will have on our future, especially after reading an article about low water levels in reservoirs. Well, I drive past my local reservoir every day, and each morning I empty a bucket of water from my tap while on my way to work. If all of us did the same, these reservoirs would be full in no time.