My mate recently became a black belt in judo. I said, "That's all very well but, really, how often are you going to be attacked by a man in a dressing-gown?"
Classical Jokes3056- Page
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top tip: city councils save hundreds of pounds on signs warning of dangerous bends, simply tie a bunch of flowers to a nearby tree
If you want to write a letter, use a pen and paper.
In the news was a story that a boy died by walking in front of a moving train. The excuse is that he was listening to his ipod loud. The family have urged people not to listen to iPods while outside "for your own safety". Wouldn't it be more constructive if she told people to look before crossing?
Giva a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and his wife will divorce him.
What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.
I'm doing an environmental studies course and I need ideas on how to save trees. Answers on a postcard please.
Top Tip: Avoid tears when chopping onions by using carrots instead.
BUS DRIVERS. If you see an attractive woman with a low cut top at the bus stop, accelerate and come to a halt 50 feet past the stop. You will then have a great view in your nearside mirror as she runs towards you. Finally, accidentally drop her change for a second look.
If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne, my advice, hit it with a ship. I've seen people do that, it works!
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