Classical Jokes25- Page

I decided to take my Mother-in-law shopping today, in light of Sainsbury's current eco-advertising campaign. "Take an old bag shopping."

I don't think sanitary towels properly address the monthly ordeal that women suffer from periods. They just paper over the cracks.

Anybody know how to sketch an empty bullet cos i've drawn a blank

I've always looked 5 years young for my age, which was a bit creepy at birth.

I'm attempting to smash the world record for balancing on a bread type savoury. I'm actually doing really well. I'm on a roll.

Haiti: a cracking country.

My wife miscarried last night. I kept telling her; back straight, knees bent.

In Lehmann's terms you're a rubbish goalkeeper

I once knew a dwarf who worked in the Police Force. His nickname was laptop. He was a small PC.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do like to use scaremonger tactics to get what I want. I haven't paid for fish in years.