Classical Jokes24- Page

I'm a recovering alcoholic. In a bid to keep myself off the booze, I've booked up for a swingers' retreat next weekend. While I'm there, I might just have a couple.

There was a misprint in the newspaper, and now my dad thinks I'm a serial racist. He said he's never been prouder.

Headline in the Mirror 'Danger drug meow meow's successor MDAI could flood Britain' I for one won't be taking it, because i think it's maid wrong

In New York last week I was talking to a Yank who used to live near Dover. "I sure miss that English Channel of yours" he sighed "Really?" I replied, "It's not that impressive" "Sure it is!" he said, "You can't get Eastenders over here".

I'm always getting muddled up between liquids, solids and gases - but then again, what does it matter?

I'm guessing Apple's new advertising campaign iAds is not going to be very popular with dyslexics.

Did you hear about the hippie who drowned in the Thames. The lifeguards tried to save him but he was too far out.

I keep texting my wife and instead of texting "LOVE YOU LOTS" I accidentally type "LOVE YOU LOTR." It's becoming a hobbit.

As I stand on the train tracks thinking about where my life went wrong... It finally hit me.

Six bodies found at U.S rapists home. He must like a six pack. I'm more of a soda man myself. I have seven up in my loft.