Classical Jokes22- Page

My missus is useless. She can't do anything right. Probably something to do with the stroke she had.

A little known fact about Ebeneezer Scrooge was that he didn't like sweets Bar humbugs...

I can't jstand queue umpers.

As my frigid girlfriend stood there, I said "I think we should spend some time apart", and she burst into tears. "What's the matter?" I asked, "I was talking to your legs."

What's the difference between bride and groom? I don't "bride" school girls

There's a lot of people who have been criticising the new I-Phone 4 just recently. I bought one today, and to be honest I have to give it credit. Its on pay as you go.

My mate was hallucinating when he fell off a balcony. I think he tripped.

Gordon Ramsay taught me all I know. I swear.

My wife brought a penguin home yesterday... ...I let it slide.

Ironically,a woman called Sue took me to court.