Classical Jokes12- Page

BBC NEWS: Schoolboy kills 15 year old girlfriend for free breakfast I guess she's "toast" then

So Magnus Magnusson said to me "And your specialist subject is?" "Well, since this must be heaven," I said, "It's not gas boilers..."

Promised my mum that I'll never end up working in the prison kitchen herb garden again. I've served my thyme.

Just saw a sign which said "WARNING! Forklift Truck in Operation". No wonder the NHS waiting list is so long.

Im aroused by fire. Must be all those naked flames.

Someone stole my spine while I was sleeping, but I'll get my own back.

Just saw a German philosopher out buying fruit. Pretty sure I've spotted a Nietzsche in the market.

I've released a new book on why it's important to keep money in the bank for as long as possible. There's been big interest so far.

"What do you think of Ant and Dec?" "Well, Ant is a bit deviant, but Dec is half decent."

"So, two of you fell off the riverboat as it entered the bend?" "Yes" I said, "Meander."