Classical Jokes3063- Page

Anybody else think we'll be seeing the words "Database latency too high" on Friday?

Why do women like men who are smart, goal orientated and have a sense of humour? Because opposites attract.

I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

You never realise what you've got till it's gone. Toilet paper being a good example.

I phoned the 'Rape Helpline' yesterday. They suggested I buy a balaclava.

Top Tip. London Borough Council. Putting a second 'No Ball games' sign 8 yards (7.32m) to the left of the current one will save us having to use a jumper for a goalpost.

When I'm bored I like to play a game with my deaf wife whilst she is hoovering. I unplug it and time how long it takes her to notice.

I just saw the advert for Compare The Meerkat com saying that they are updating their server to cope with more people online. Sickipedia! Take Note!! Simples.......

A man walks into a bookshop and says, "can I have a book by Shakespeare?" "Of course, Sir, which one?" The man replies, "William."