Women. Avoid parking discrepancies by aiming to park all wonky. There is a good chance you will end up perfectly straight and within the lines. You're welcome.
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A tip for Midgets: Appear taller by snacking on fun-size Mars bars and speaking very quietly, thus giving the impression that you are merely a long way away.
Top tip: add thousands to the value of your house by making wallpaper out of twenty quid notes.
Men; would you like to last longer in bed? Then get your wife to bring breakfast to you.
I need help committing suicide. Does anyone have some experience?
I'm in a long distance relationship and I find it great. Wife in the kitchen and me at the pub.
I've been trying to teach my son the importance of honesty. Today when I came home I discovered that he had found my nail gun and destroyed my entire vinyl collection. I went up to his room and asked him if he knew who did it. "It was me, dad." He replied. "Good son, and do you know why I'm not going to punish you?" "Because I'm still holding your nail gun."
Wii Fit, Number 1 way to let your girlfriend know she's FAT!
Tip of the day: Don't bother trying to get a taxi during a mosque service, you're only wasting your time.
Headline in the sun 'NIGHT STALKER ATTACKED ME WHEN I WAS IN LABOUR' advice to all women out there vote conservative
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